YOU'RE AN UNDERACHIEVER!

Would've been a phrase that may or may not have given me that get-up-and-go every morning.
Who can tell?

I see myself as quite a hard-working guy. Got a lot going on for me. In fact if I may be so bold I think I am the greatest person in the world. Some might argue but ask yourself this:
What do they know?

Let's look at my life shall we? No? Well then you may as well Ctrl/Cmd Q and jump out of a window! Expand your mind muddafucka! Here's Birth-Aged 2:

Birth
September 29th 1988 - I was born a child prodigy, being one of only 2 children in the world born with the handsome gene. Doctors said it was a miracle while nurses tried to get shifts working with me in the hospital.
* Joel Schumacher kicked himself for casting Corey Haim in Lost Boys when, had he waited a year later he could have had me and higher box office takings if we're being fair. But I couldn't lift my head at the time so there would have been a lot of work in the editing suite. All for the best, eh?

Aged 1
December 12th 1989 - Having not received what I had wanted from Santa Claus last year I attempted to relay my wishes to my parents. Seeing no comprehension dawn on their faces I gave up and went to see Look Who's Talking. Leaving the film, fully aware of the futility and oppression of children I bought Sue Townsend's Adrian Mole Books and had a few laughs at my expense. World 1-0 Aaron.

Aged 2
April 12th 1990 - After grasping the meaning of sarcasm aged 2, I set off around the house verbally abusing every sentient being.
April 13th 1990 - Having watched a family critic on our oversized television (which coincidentally I had bought with all my modelling money from SMA and Pampers) I brought my mother to tears as I told her that her attempts at making me feel loved and wanted in this family were 'slapdash' and 'insulting'. She didn't even brighten when I told her her food was 'passable'.